Interview with Bush regarding discovery of nuclear toilet:

Stan: Mr President, are you going to make a statement regarding the recent toilet leak?

GWB: My fellow Arcanians,  The times, they are a chargrin.  

I wont desensitivify the nature of the secret establishmentarium that the questioner questions.

Therefore I can say nothing more(onic) about it.  I will niether denyify nor confirmicate the purpose of our secret nuclearised toilet, nor will I admiterate its existence.  

Stan: We have evidence, we know it exists.  What we need to know now is who is backing this project?  

GWB:  I do not thinkify that great people of americandom would want to see thier president backing up the worlds largest toilet

Stan:  I think they would.

GWB:  Between you, me and the gatorade poster, we need the toilet project to complete researchification into the effections of weapons grade toilet duck, currently being developed by Iraq

Stan:  Iraq?

GWB:  I mean Iran.  No wait, we already made up an excuse to bomb them.  Who else has oil?

Stan: Georgia?

GWB: No, I like Atlantis.

Stan:  Err... Atlantis is not a real country

GWB: Dumbass!  Atlantis is the state capital of Georgia.

Stan: I meant the country.  

GWB:  You got any pretzels?  They dont let me have them anymore.

  At this point the interview was cut short by a presidential aide who said I would be "going hunting with Dick"  if I ever printed any of this.