Lost My Way

"That's not a Knife!" " No, it's a cup of tea love"..........................

Stan — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:27:53 GMT

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese woman and her six-month-old baby
escaped unhurt from a knife-wielding thief this week after the mother
calmed him down with a cup of tea and a chat.

The 30-year-old Tokyo woman was walking along a corridor in her
apartment building with her daughter Monday when a man brandishing a
knife demanded money, the Asahi newspaper said.

When the housewife told him she had none, the man barged into her
apartment. Hoping to calm him, the woman made the thief a cup of tea,
whereupon he put his knife away and began a 20-minute monologue about
his life.

The woman then gave the man 10,000 yen ($93.34) and ran outside to call the police from a pay phone, the report said.

Police rushed to the scene, but the thief had fled and is still being sought.

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Pirates of the north sea, or drunk dinghy driver dozing down discovered by Danes

Stan — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:27:00 GMT

A drunken 78-year-old Swede stole a dinghy
after a night out in the Danish town of Helsingor and tried to row back
to Sweden, but fell asleep halfway, Danish police said on Monday.

When the man discovered he lacked the necessary funds to pay for the
ferry from Helsingor to Helsingborg in Sweden on Saturday, he decided
to row the five km (three miles) across the strait of Oresund that
separates the two.

He quickly grew tired and, trusting fortune and the currents to see
him safely home, took a snooze at the bottom of the boat, where Danish
police later found him out at sea, still asleep.

The strait is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world. Police
said the owner of the dinghy had decided not to press charges.

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Teachers turf out turfing tearaways ...........(somebody grassed!)

Stan — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:48:56 GMT

The entire sixth year of a school was sent home on their last day after pupils turfed over the floor of their common room.

Teachers at Banchory Academy took the step after it was discovered some pupils had been drinking.

Aberdeenshire Council said it was decided to send all 100 pupils home.

A spokesman said there were concerns about disruption to exams taking
place in the school. One 17-year-old pupil was charged with breach of
the peace.

'Particularly disappointing'

An Aberdeenshire Council spokesman said: "Banchory Academy is
extremely disappointed that the disruptive actions of a number of sixth
year pupils has spoiled what was due to be an enjoyable day of
activities to mark their last day of term.

"There was evidence that some pupils had been drinking and given the
size of the year group the head teacher has had no choice but to send
all of them home, both for their own safety and to avoid any disruption
to standard grade exams under way today.

"This will be particularly disappointing for those sixth years who were genuinely looking forward to their last day of term."

The spokesman added: "A day of activities had been planned to but due
to the actions of a minority of pupils this has had to be cancelled.

"This is a very poor way for pupils to end their school career and we
hope those who disrupted the day understand the upset their actions
have caused."

The cost of clearing up the turf has been estimated at hundreds of pounds.

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In the event of a crash beer could spill..............................

Stan — Wed, 14 May 2008 11:34:38 GMT

Police said they were "shocked and appalled" when they pulled over the
car south of Alice Springs in Australia's Northern Territory.

They said the 30-can pack of beer was strapped down between two
adults in the back, with the five-year-old child unrestrained on the
floor.

The driver was handed a fine of A$750 (US$709; £362).

The fine was for failing to ensure a child was wearing a seatbelt as well as driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle.

'Blank' look

The car was pulled over on the Ross Highway last Friday.

Constable Wayne Burnett said: "I haven't ever seen something like this before.

"This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a
child... The child was sitting in the lump in the centre,
unrestrained."

When Constable Burnett handed over the fine he said the driver "just looked at me blankly".

"He didn't get it," Constable Burnett said.

"I asked him about the fact the child was unrestrained and the beer was, and he said he didn't know anything about it."

Superintendent Sean Parnell of Alice Springs police said the
incident was a "timely reminder" to ensure "all passengers are secured".
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Pope ponders possibility of planets...........

Stan — Wed, 14 May 2008 11:29:20 GMT

The Pope's chief astronomer says that life on Mars cannot be ruled out.

Writing in the Vatican newspaper, the astronomer, Father Gabriel Funes,
said intelligent beings created by God could exist in outer space.

Father Funes, director of the Vatican Observatory near Rome, is
a respected scientist who collaborates with universities around the
world.

The search for forms of extraterrestrial life, he says, does not contradict belief in God.

The official Vatican newspaper headlines his article 'Aliens Are My Brother'.

'Free from sin'

Just as there are multiple forms of life on earth, so there could exist
intelligent beings in outer space created by God. And some aliens could
even be free from original sin, he speculates.

Asked about the Catholic Church's condemnation four centuries ago of
the Italian astronomer and physicist, Galileo, Father Funes
diplomatically says mistakes were made, but it is time to turn the page
and look towards the future.

Science and religion need each other, and many astronomers believe in God, he assures readers.

To strengthen its scientific credentials, the Vatican is organising a
conference next year to mark the 200th anniversary of the birth of the
author of the Origin of Species, Charles Darwin.

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Fat, drunken TV addicts. No, not the Americans, I mean us!

Stan — Tue, 13 May 2008 11:28:41 GMT

England is an irritating and insular country full
of overweight, binge-drinking, reality TV addicts, a new guide warns
tourists.

But in the new Rough Guide to England, the English are also hailed
as a nation of animal-loving, tea-drinking charity donors who love
nothing better than forming an orderly queue.

Gone, it seems, is the image of a genteel country awash with
Englishmen politely tipping their bowler hats, groping through the
London fog and being kinder to pets than kids.

The writers confess to bafflement over the quirky English,
concluding that of the 200 countries the guide reviews there is none
"so fascinating, beautiful and culturally diverse yet as insular,
self-important and irritating as England."

They said the English are proud of their multi-culturalism and are united by one thing -- their sense of humour.

But there are constant contradictions. In a country priding itself
on patriotism, they have a Scottish Prime Minister, an Italian football
coach and a Greek married to the Queen.

They are gently mocked as voracious consumers of celebrity chit-chat
and "as a glance at the tabloid newspapers will confirm, England is a
nation of overweight, binge-drinking reality TV addicts."

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I do not believe any of that. Anyway, I need a fag and a pint of large, "I'm a nonentity get me out of here" is on tv next.

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No tax cut...............................

Stan — Tue, 13 May 2008 11:11:11 GMT

A man has sawn his car in half with an angle-grinder in protest at it being clamped outside his home.

Ian Taylor, from Tredworth, Glos, said the untaxed Ford Fiesta was
parked on his drive with only part of a rear wheel poking out on to the
pavement.

Alas, poor Yorrick. He got me stoned........................

Stan — Mon, 12 May 2008 11:39:57 GMT

Authorities in Texas have filed corpse-abuse charges
against two men who allegedly removed a skull from a grave and used it as a
bong.

The Harris County District Attorney's Office confirmed on Thursday that
misdemeanor abuse of corpse charges have been filed in the case.

One of the men allegedly told police they dug up a grave in an abandoned
cemetery in the woods, removed a head from a body and smoked marijuana using the
skull as a bong.

Police found the cemetery and a grave that had been disturbed but are still
investigating the rest of the story, officials said.

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Homer..... sexual???????

Stan — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:51:56 GMT

The Simpsons has been dropped from
morning TV in Venezuela after being deemed unsuitable for children -
and has been replaced by Baywatch.

The popular US cartoon about the yellow dysfunctional family was branded "inappropriate" and pulled by the country's television authorities.

Caracas TV station Televen has started showing episodes of the beachside show in the same mid-morning slot.

It became famous for its bikini-clad stars, including Pamela Anderson.

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Yellow skin and three fingers on each hand has never really appealed to me, I guess people are just different in Venezuela............ ...

Do you know where your kids are?

Stan — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 21:11:14 GMT

Police near Cincinnati have charged an Indiana man with theft based partly on what he left behind when he ran from police _ his 12-year-old son.

Brent Leisgang, 30, of Cedar Grove, Ind., was arrested Wednesday and has been charged with child endangering, possession of criminal tools, possession of drugs, criminal trespass and two counts each of theft and criminal damaging.

Leisgang is accused of trying to steal catalytic converters from a car lot in Harrison last week. The converters are popular targets of thieves because they can be sold to scrap dealers. He is being held on $80,000 bond.

His son was found at the scene and police believe Leisgang brought him along to help in the theft.

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Information from: The Cincinnati Enquirer, http://www.enquirer.com
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